Lesley’s Fostering Journey
I had always thought about fostering, well initially I was planning to adopt but doing that on my own was a huge challenge, financially and emotionally, so when a friend mentioned that I could do weekend only foster care, I was very interested. Up until then I thought I would have to foster long term or at least for a few weeks at a time and that just wasn’t possible as I am a full-time worker. Having the flexibility to do emergency foster care was a perfect option for me.
Why fostering… it’s funny as every time I tell people that I am fostering their first response is, oh I couldn’t do that… but honestly, anyone can, as long as you have the patience, time and of course a bed or two available. Sometimes I feel like I could do more but knowing that a young child has been in our home, been fed, had a hot bath, lots of play, cuddles and love, makes it worthwhile. It may only be for a few days but it can be life changing for some kids.
In 2024 I registered with Five Rivers and met the amazing Mary who walked me through all the options and expectations. I won’t lie, the review process is tough as they really dig into your past and life, but it’s needed and absolutely necessary and honestly I got to the stage where I enjoyed Mary visiting.
After about 6 months I did the weekend fostering course and then I was approved by the board the following month. That was the end of 2024. In January 2025 I went on call for the first time and didn’t sleep a wink or leave the house. That is different now as I’ve learnt they always give you an hour or two notice and my phone is always beside me. That first weekend I got a call at about 2am for a 6-month-old who needed care. Honestly, it was a little scary, but she was adorable. I slept with her on the couch as she didn’t settle in the cot and the next morning was running around trying to get baby food and formula for her bottle – again it’s all learning as I now have them always in the cupboard. She was the smiliest little thing, and it was an absolute pleasure minding her for a few days. That same weekend after the baby was back with her Mum, I got another call on the Sunday for a 14-year-old who needed care for one night. She was lovely and we had some really great conversations. It’s sad when you are talking to a young child who has been through so much but all you can do is listen and be there for them. A beautiful memory I have is both of us walking on the beach just chatting and her really opening up to me.
Shortly after that my (now fiancé) moved in and is going through the approval process and we currently do one weekend a month on call. We have had 12 placements to date and honestly each one has brought its own level of joy. The children have all been incredible. Some have been in very tough situations, and we just try to help them escape it for the weekend, make sure we do tons of fun things and give them a small but happy break.
Maybe we have been lucky, but we have had no issues with any of the kids, they have all been easy to care for and just went along with whatever we had planned. My fear when I signed up was that I would get too attached to the kids and be worried about them constantly, but you quickly learn that Tusla are looking after them and they do always let you know where they are going next.
We have been lucky that most of the kids have gone back to their families or a family member. There was one little boy who stayed a little longer with us due to home circumstances and I did get very attached to him. That was the toughest goodbye I have had through my fostering journey and I won’t lie, there will be some that totally steal your heart, but you have to trust the system and the people working in it that they do their absolute best for the kids.
It really is amazing how resilient children are and how quickly they warm to you once they feel safe. We have had some kids who are visibly terrified when they come in but some food, a nice bath, fresh clothes and some patience later, they start to come out of their shells. I remember one little girl who came with her sister, and she didn’t talk for the first day or night or smile and I was really worried about her but the next day she started chatting and by that night she was laughing and playing like a child her age should be. It was amazing to see the transformation. Having kids for the weekend doesn’t really impact our lives as much as I thought it would. We can’t make plans, which is actually nice as we spend a lot of time together and when the kids arrive, we have some real quality time as a couple with the kids. It’s great.
If you are thinking about fostering, chat to Five Rivers. If you have any doubts about fostering, chat to Five Rivers. If you have any questions about fostering, chat to Five Rivers. If you want to give something back, do something amazing, give some little kids a fabulous weekend or longer – chat to Five Rivers. You won’t regret it. We plan to foster for many more years.
