Laura & Martin
Laura and Martin have been foster carers with Five Rivers Fostering for 13 years. We’re delighted for them to share their perspective on what fostering has meant for their family!
I have always wanted to be a foster parent, ever since watching Home and Away as a child. I loved how Pippa helped all those children that came into her care. She had such a big heart. When I met my husband Martin, I told him that I wanted to wait until our youngest child was five and then I wanted to go through the fostering process. He just said OK. However, when our youngest turned five this is when I said, “let’s start the process”. He replied, “Oh! so you were serious?”.
Fast forward 13 years, and it has definitely been a roller coaster of a ride. Would we do it again? Yes! Were we prepared? No! The main thing we were not prepared for was the turnaround of people who make long term decisions about a child whom they have just met. Then a few months later they move on, and we start again with someone else. It can become very frustrating. This is where Five Rivers support us the most as no matter what has happened, they always remain by our side guiding us and supporting us every step of the way. A lot of the time, I feel like we are a tag team. We currently care for two children with additional needs and at times it can be very tough. On nights that I don’t get a lot of sleep, Martin will take over in the morning and let me get the rest I need, and vice versa. We also get a lot of support from our older children. During our time fostering we have definitely grown as people.
Our whole family’s way of life has changed for the better. We have so much more empathy for birth families, that we did not expect to have in the beginning. We have managed to create a great rapport with the birth families of the children we have in our care and that really benefits everyone. We find as a whole that ourselves and our children do not judge people at first glance. We know there is always a backstory in people’s lives that we do not know or understand. And this is not just with fostering, this is with everyone.
I have been so blessed to have such a supportive husband. He understood my dream to become a foster parent, and he not just supported me but fully took on the role and is a great foster dad. We both have so much love for the children in our care. To us they are no different than our birth children. We love all our children the same. We realise the importance of always being there for each other. Also knowing it’s ok to ask for help and to know when you need a break.
During our time fostering Martin left his job as a carpenter and returned to university and studied Psychology and Anthropology to try to better understand the children who may come into our care. He now works with adults with intellectual disabilities and Autism. I returned to education I and became an SNA to educate myself more as we have a child in our care with Autism.
From our children’s point of view, they have said that they are definitely more mindful of other children’s behaviours. The behaviours children in care display are not a true reflection of who they are but of a result of their experiences that they have been through. This teaches our children the skills of being patient and open minded. I’m very proud of our children as they are so welcoming to any child who enters our house.
Times can be tough. When you are sitting in a hospital room with a very sick child, and you are struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We always try to remember how much this child needs us, and our love for them grows stronger, then things become easier. Looking back over the last few years we can see the positive impact we have had in these children’s lives. When you see the big smiles on their faces it makes all those struggles worthwhile. We hope with the support of Five Rivers to continue fostering for many years. We also hope to help and support as many children as we can while on our journey to make their lives as best as they can possibly be because they deserve it.
