Eleanor & George
Eleanor and George have been fostering with Five Rivers Fostering since 2021
What inspired you to become a foster carer?
George and I have a deep compassion and desire to make a difference by providing stability and love to children in difficult circumstances. We also have a desire to give back to the community by helping children heal, grow and thrive under our care.
What fears or concerns did you have before embarking on becoming a foster carer?
We had a fear of not being able to manage the child’s needs especially if the child was from difficult traumatic backgrounds. We weren’t sure we would have the skills or the patience to deal with them. We were apprehensive about bonding with a child and then parting with them, when it was time to move on.
We weren’t sure if we had the skillset to handle difficult behaviours. We were worried about our own child, how he would cope with another child sharing his parent’s love.
How long did you think about fostering before taking the first step?
Over two or three years after getting married, we discussed, researched and reflecting on fostering a child. We spoke in dept about our resources, capabilities and skills that could make an impact on a child’s life. At that point we took the first step.
Can you remember a time that made you realise the impact you were having as a foster carer?
There were many occasions that made us realise our impact including the time when a child told us that they loved us. Another child trusted us so deeply that they opened up to us and disclosed extremely sensitive and traumatic incidents from her past. So many examples are evident; when a child gives you a hug and says thank you for the food and clothing. When a child calls you mummy after the first day in your care.
Are there challenges you have faced as foster carer that you have learnt from?
When we have had to deal with difficult behaviours, we learned that the key is to be patient, understanding and to keep the lines of communication open. When we struggled with getting attached children, we learned that our primary goal was to provide a safe, comfortable and loving home, keeping in mind always the child’s best interest which may be reunification with their birth family. When dealing with difficult birth patents we learned that their frustration stems from a place of love and compassion, hence we always are very considerate and understanding and patient.
What has fostering brought to your family?
It has brought a very deep enriching experience. Opening our home to a child has also strengthened our family’s sense of empathy and patience. It has brought our family together in providing stability to vulnerable children. It has certainly tested our parenting skills and shows us how to deal with family situations in a far more empathetic way. It has taught us to be more selfless and outreaching with vulnerable and deprived. It has made us dig deeper to love.
Has fostering changed your outlook on life or you as a person?
Fostering has made us understand better our own level of compassion, patience and resilience. It has also shown us how small acts of kindness, unconditional love and stability can shape a child’s future.
We appreciate everything we have and the small simple things in life. Family means everything to us, that is our inclusive family. We both have learned to never give up on any child, where there is a child who is loved unconditionally great recovery can happen and that child can go on to lead a wonderful life.
What supports have helped you on your fostering journey? Have you felt supported by Five Rivers?
Our excellent social workers and link workers, family, friends and the wider community. Other foster carers that we have connected with. All the training we have received. All the social gatherings with other foster families and Five Rivers Fostering staff.
We are very supported by Fiver Rivers staff; they walked every step of the way with us and made the journey so easy. We met some of the most amazing and beautiful people in the organisation. They nurtured us and gave birth to us as a foster family.
Is there anything you would like to say to someone that may be thinking about fostering?
We would say it is the most rewarding yet challenging thing you will ever do. It’s not just providing a home but a holistic approach that includes a child’s physical, emotional, spiritual and intellectual needs. This means understanding, being patient and listening to the child. It is a highly satisfying journey that requires flexibility, emotional strength and a loving and open heart. I would advise anyone to attending fostering information evenings and to talk to other foster carers. They will grow as a person, look outwards, see the potential and embrace this amazing journey. Love conquers all!
