Carol & Gerry
Have you ever thought about fostering a child?
Well, a seed was planted in my mind many years ago when my own children were little and I realised that not all children have the opportunity to simply be a child. The unfortunate thing was that, at the time, we had a full house and we didn’t have the space for another child — and anyway it took an extra special person to be a foster parent, didn’t it? So, I pushed the thought to the back of my mind.
Over the years I’ve witnessed families in crisis, where parents are ill or not coping with the challenges of daily life. Where looking after themselves is a struggle, never mind looking after a child who needs constant attention. And I’ve thought, ‘If only I was that “special person” I could have helped that child or that family.’
With our own children, now in their late 20s and early 30s and living in their own homes, Gerry and I found ourselves living on our own in a house with two spare bedrooms. We decided to give some thought to what we could do with our empty bedrooms; we thought about providing student or refugee accommodation, or maybe the time had come to scratch that itch and finally make enquiries about becoming foster parents. It was from this point that our fostering journey began. We decided to contact a company called Five Rivers who work with Tusla to provide foster care for children from birth to 18 years of age.
We were assigned a social worker, Mary, and our initial interview was more like a chat with an old friend as we told her about our lives, our family and our work over many, many cups of tea! Several further interviews followed, and a booklet was compiled by Mary, which told our story and how we had come to this point. At every stage of the process, we were told by Mary that we could withdraw our application if we felt this was not for us.
We were then invited to take part in several training courses, including a Child First and a First Aid course, and finally a weekend course where we met with other applicants like ourselves. We discussed many topics, including the reasons children come into care, the situations they’re coming from and the experience of foster children and foster parents. A gentleman who had been fostering with his wife for many years told us of his experiences, both good and bad. He had fostered many children over the years in both long-term and short-term placements. He spoke about the children, their different personalities and needs, and that all they really wanted was a chance to be able to grow in a loving, stable environment. Some of his stories were quite harrowing, but instead of turning us off, it made us even more resolute in our decision to foster.
A few weeks later our application was brought before the Fostering Committee and during a Zoom meeting we were informed that we had been approved as foster parents. That was last September.
In October, we welcomed our first foster child for a weekend, which ended up stretching into a week. Two other children followed. All were different but all had one thing in common: they needed a safe place to stay and to be taken care of for a little while.
As a family, our lives have been hugely enriched by our experiences and we have been supported greatly by our children, who initially were worried that we were too old! As a couple, Gerry and I believe we have benefited every bit as much as the children we have cared for so far. We’ve been reminded of how much fun it is to have little ones in the house again, and now I have an excuse for the house being upside down!
We never dreamed that at the age of 66 we’d be down on our hands and knees playing with a foster child or singing endless Cocomelon songs and doing the actions as well! So you see, it doesn’t take special people to be foster parents, we’ve proved that. It takes ordinary people like you and me who are willing and able to open their hearts and their homes to provide a safe place for a child whose family are in crisis.
And sure, if the tables were turned, wouldn’t it be a blessing to know that there are people willing to do this for you and your child. As one writer put it:
You might be temporary in their lives;
They might be temporary in yours.
But there is nothing temporary about the love or the lesson.
If you think that you’d like to explore the possibility of fostering, please contact us here.
